


All these colors

by FabulousHasi



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colorblindness, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, Self-Doubt, alcohol abuse (very minor), and we love him, chapter 2, neme is a dumbass, no beta we die like Fnatic against G2, so is selfmade though, suicidal thoughts (also very minor)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25659571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousHasi/pseuds/FabulousHasi
Summary: In which you can only see your soulmate's eye color, until you fall in love with them...... and Tim is absolutely not about it.... and Martin never thought that this could happen with soulmates.
Relationships: Martin "Rekkles" Larsson/Rasmus "Caps" Winther, Oskar "Selfmade" Boderek/Tim "Nemesis" Lipovšek
Comments: 15
Kudos: 72





	1. (but I still just want to look at you)

1.

Tim thinks the idea of soulmates is stupid even when he is only a child. It seems stupid to him that there is supposed to be someone out there who „completes you“, or that you’re „two halves of the same whole“.

He is his own person, thank you very much.

It feels even more stupid to him that the reason he can only see blue, and every other color is just grey to him, is that it’s the color of his soulmate’s eyes. It’s like the universe is telling him that he will never be complete without his soulmate, and trying to be anything without them will just be a wasted effort.

And why the eyes anyway?, Tim keeps thinking with contempt. What’s so great about someone’s fucking eye color?

His mother tries to tell him that he shouldn’t be so worried, and that he will understand once he meets his soulmate, and sees the world bloom with color, that life is much more beautiful when you’re not alone. She tells him that once he can see the lush green of a forest, or the breathtaking yellow of a sunflower field, or the pink blush of his soulmates‘ cheeks, his independence will seem like a small price to pay. It doesn’t do a lot so soothe his worries.

Having only blue is fine, Tim tells himself. He likes blue, for what it’s worth. It’s a good color – not that he could really judge it. But there is something calming to him about the blue sky on a sunny day, or about the way water looks when it’s still. If having nothing but blue is the price he has to pay for not subjecting himself to someone just because they’re his „soulmate“, then he will gladly pay it.

The older he gets, the less Tim goes outside. He likes staying at home and playing games, partly because he enjoys it a lot, and partly because this way, he doesn’t risk looking in his friend’s eyes, and seeing that they’re perfectly blue, with not a trace of the colorless grey that everything else is in them. Seeing that, and them seeing his eyes, and them then expecting him to fall in love, just like that. No, he doesn't need any of that.

But of course, it's not like he actually wants to stay in his home forever. When he finally gets the offer from Mad Lions, he almost screams with excitement. His mother laughs, and says that she hasn’t seen him this high-spirited since elementary school, but he doesn’t care. He has worked so hard for so many years for this, and finally, the dream came true. He is going to become a pro, he really is, and any worries about eye colors and expectations are in the very back of his head right now.

2.

It turns out to be everything he dreamed of and more. Being a pro-player is exactly the right thing for Tim. He loves scrimming, and gamedays, and he loves being surrounded by people that are passionate for the same thing he is, and don’t think he is weird for loving games so much. Somehow, he even loves living in the gaming house, because at least his teammates aren’t pestering about going outside like his family used to.

But honestly, what he loves most about his new life is Oskar.

They meet the day Tim first moves in, and at first he is worried they will hate each other. Oskar is so confident and outgoing, already trying to engage Tim in a conversation before they’re even done introducing each other. He the exact opposite of Tim, and Tim thinks that there is no way they will get along. But somehow, he is completely wrong.

Oskar gets Tim from the very beginning. He always seems to know what Tim is thinking and the exact right thing to say to him. He starts telling him stupid jokes, and tries to cheer him up when he’s on a bad losing streak, and Tim rolls his eyes and pretends to be annoyed but they both know better.

And somehow it works the other way as well, where Tim manages to calm Oskar down like no one else can. Oskar gets angry a lot, at SoloQ-teammates, and the traffic, and stupid people on the internet. But he never gets angry at Tim, and one word from Tim is enough to make him stop shouting, soften his gaze, and apologize.

Oskar grins when Tim tells him that his new haircut is terrible and looks like his hairdresser had his eyes closed the whole time. Tim grins when Oskar vents to him about his autofilled botlane and uses at least three curse words that Tim has never heard before. They both grin when Crownie is lost in another hopeless attempt at flirting with some random girl, and they know the’ll get to tease him endlessly for it.

Oskar drags Tim along to his first nightclub ever, to celebrate Tim’s eighteenth birthday, and Tim hates it. But in the moments Oskar is next to him and screams some stupid joke to him over the loud music, he hates it a little bit less.

Oskar also tells him that he doesn’t think he has a soulmate, because he has no visible color, no blue, or green, or brown like everyone else. To him, everything is grey, and so Tim feels safe with him, in spite of the perfectly blue color of his eyes.

But of course, their time together has to end some time, and it does when Tim gets the offer from Fnatic. He tries to be happy about it, and tells himself that this is the whole reason he doesn’t want a soulmate: the freedom to pursue his dreams without being tied down to another person. But he can’t help but feel a bit terrible anyway.

3.

On his first day with Fnatic, Tim almost has a heart attack, because Rekkles and Broxah both look back at him as they introduce themselves with a smile, and their eyes are blue.

But over the next few days, he notices grey spots in Rekkles‘ eyes, spots that are probably green in reality, and hears broxah talk about his girlfriend back at home, whom he had known since he was seven, and recognized when they were only fourteen, and feels like he can relax again.

His first year in Fnatic goes by in a haze, so fast that he almost can’t believe it. He feels like he was numb for most of it, the same numbness he had felt when he was younger, and still at home, and somehow hadn’t when he was with Mad Lions.

But at the end of the year, when he gets word that Broxah is leaving Fnatic, he feels bad for getting excited, because Broxah is probably the nicest human on the planet. But he can’t help it. He can hear the rumblings in Fnatic, and he knows that Oskar wants to change teams, and it feels like there is something in the air.

And while _nice_ really isn’t the right word to describe Oskar, he is _Tim’s_ not-nice person. And Tim is ecstatic when it works out, because he has just missed him so goddamn much. Hyli and Rekkles laugh in amazement when they see him giddy like a little child, but somehow, he doesn't even care.

4.

They first see each other again at the bootcamp in London, and it’s like they’ve never been apart. Tim sees the wonder on his teammates‘ faces, as he talks more during one team lunch than he probably has the whole year before that, but there is just so much he and Oskar have to catch up on.

During the next few weeks, Tim realizes that something has changed between Oskar and him. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but he feels like he catches Oskar just looking at him absent-mindedly more often now. When they sit in draft meetings, or walk from the apartment to the office, or even when they’re just playing SoloQ, he feels like Oskar’s eyes are almost always on him.

He notices that when they hug after a victory, Oskar lingers a little longer than he used to, and that he dates a little less than he used to. In fact, as far as Tim can tell, Oskar doesn’t date at all any more. Tim notices all of these things, but it’s not like he minds.

One day, he walks into the office, he catches Hyli and Bwipo gossiping quietly over something. They stop talking as soon as they see him, and pretend that nothing happened, but Tim is quite sure that he caught the words „Oskar“ and „Tim’s eye color“ in their conversation. He chooses not to think about it.

5.

He doesn’t know how the topic comes up, during one of their after-game dinners, a ritual that Mithy introduced and insists on, to increase their bond, and help them out of their slump. But somehow, they’re talking about soulmates, and the three older players try to explain color to Tim and Oskar. Tim crosses his arms, sinks deeper into his chair, and tries to listen as little as possible.

„So green is like blue, but with more energy, and yellow looks the way the sun feels on your skin“, Rekkles says, sounding drunker than he has any business being after only a few beers, if you ask Tim. Bwipo frowns at him.

„No offense, Martin, but I don’t think you’re really getting the point across.“

„Well, how would you describe color to someone who’s never seen it?“, Rekkles asks, slightly offended. Bwipo happily takes the challenge, quite tipsy already himself, and Tim mentally prepares for a wall of words, but Hyli puts a hand on Bwipo’s shoulder.

„It’s not about the colors anyway“, he says calmly. „It’s about the bond you have with your soulmate.“

„Fuck that“, Oskar says next tom Tim, pulling his cap deeper into his face. „I still don’t believe in soulmates. Like, someone else being your other half? That’s so stupid.“ Tim wholeheartedly agrees, but the other three, on the other side of the table, shake their heads vehemently.

„No, of course a soulmate isn’t your other half!“ Bwipo says it as if that was obvious to everyone. „You’re already a whole person, right? Your soulmate is just someone who belongs to you, who fits you better than anyone else. Like...“

„Like two socks of one pair“, Hyli blurts out, and looks really proud of himself for that analogy.

„Right“, Bwipo agrees. „Like socks. A sock can go with any other sock, and it will always do its job, right? But if it goes with another sock that’s just like it, that’s made from the same fabric...“ He takes a dramatic break, and Tim finds himself staring back at him in anticipation. „Well, then it will be just amazing, won’t it?“ He grins knowingly at Tim, who quickly sinks back into the chair, and tries to look as uninterested as possible.

„But that you’re made from the same fabric, and, and that you’re made for each other, that just means that it’s about comfort“, Hyli says, pushing his slipping glasses back up clumsily. „Your soulmate is just the person that you’re perfect for, just the way you are, and that you don’t have to pretend for, ever.“

„And it’s not like you don’t have a choice“, Rekkles says quietly, twirling his empty glass between his fingers, and suddenly looking oh so sad. „If you don’t want your soulmate, you can just leave him anyway. Or her, or whatever.“

Tim realizes that Rekkles has never talked about his soulmate, and that he doesn’t even know who it is, but before he can think about that, Oskar nudges him in the shoulder.

„Come on, I want to show you something.“

Tim throws a glance to the others, but Hyli is comforting Rekkles, and Bwipo is on the phone with his girlfriend, again.

„They won’t notice“, Oskar says, grinning. „Come on.“ And so Tim takes the offered hand, and follows Oskar. He feels weirdly tipsy, even though he didn’t drink anything, and he can feel wheels turning in the back of his head, as he looks down at his hand in Oskar’s.

He leads him onto the rooftop of their apartment building, and they lean on the edge, looking over the city stretched out beneath them. The sun hasn’t set yet, and Tim can still see some blue spots in the sky, and taste the last traces of the summer day in the air. If the outer world was always like this, Tim thinks, he could bear to spend more time there.

He notices that his and Oskar’s fingers are still intertwined with each other, and that Oskar is drawing patterns on the back of his hand, but somehow, he doesn’t mind that at all. Right now, he feels just content with the world. An unusual feeling for him, but one that he could get used to.

„What did you want to show me?“, he asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

„Huh?“, Oskar hums, like he’s waking up from a dream, and Tim has to laugh a little.

„You said you wanted to show me something.“

„Oh. Yeah. Nothing. I mean, the sunset, I guess“, Oskar murmurs absent-mindedly.

„But neither of us can even see the sunset“, Tim teases, but Oskar isn’t listening.

„What do you think about this sock story?“, he asks, and looks at Tim, who just now realizes how deeply blue Oskar’s eyes are. There’s not a spot of grey in them.

„Oh, uh, I don’t know“, he murmurs, suddenly finding it hard to concentrate. „I thought what Hyli said was really nice. That it’s about being comfortable.“

„Yeah, that’s true“, Oskar says, and turns away to look over the city again. He hesitates, and in that moment the wheels in Tim’s head stop turning. He figured it out. „You know, Neme... I wanted to tell you something.“

„Me too!“, Tim blurts out before he can stop himself. Oskar raises his eyebrows and grins.

„Oh? You go first then.“

„No“, Tim murmurs, suddenly mortified at the thought of laying his bare heart out there, even if it was for Oskar.

„Come on...“, Oskar nudges him. When Tim still doesn’t answer, he starts to tickle him, until he quickly gives in.

„Okay, okay! Just...“ He takes a deep breath, and tries to gather his courage. „If it’s about comfort... I never felt as comfortable with anyone as I do with you.“

Oskar just looks at him, and for a second Tim is afraid that he said the wrong thing. But then he sees a whole world grow in Oskar’s eyes, and a second later, he pulls Tim into a kiss.

Tim fantasized about his first kiss many times before, but he had never thought that it would feel so _right_. Everything about Oskar seems to be made for Tim, his hand that cups Tim’s cheek, his shoulders that are just the right height for Tim hold on to, and his tongue that explores Tim’s mouth like they’ve done this a thousand times already. He tastes like the chocolate ice cream that they had for dessert and a warm, fuzzy feeling spreads in Tim’s stomach.

After a few seconds, Tim opens his eyes, and a soft _„Oh“_ escapes him, which prompts Oskar to open his eyes as well. Tim sees the same wonder that must fill his own eyes right now, and they pull apart, both long not done yet, but distracted for the moment.

The world has filled with color.

Tim sees it in Oskar’s face first, in the soft blush of his cheeks that looks so lovely, and his lips, that seem even more kissable when they’re so deeply pink like this. He sees it in Oskar’s hair, and he never could have guessed that brown hair would look so soft and warm.

They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, trying to drink in every little detail, but when Tim finally manages to break away, his breath is taken once again. The sun is setting, and the sky is painted a million colors, like it’s trying to make up for everything that Tim and Oskar have missed.

Tim stares at how red bleeds into orange into yellow, and how the sky that he only ever knew as blue or grey, is suddenly a soft pink. He thinks that he will never get enough of this, of the purple clouds and the green forest in the distance.

It’s true that yellow looks the way sunrays feel, he thinks, and orange looks the way the warmth of a fire feels. Red looks the way the chili that his mother used to make tastes, the kind that was so hot that it brought tears to his eyes. But also, Tim realizes, red looks the way he felt just before he opened his eyes when he kissed Oskar, the way his hands felt on Tim’s face, and his lips on Tim’s own.

And pink... well, the pink in the sky is the same pink that Tim first saw in Oskar’s face, and it feels like that weird fluttery feeling in his chest, like having to grin without really knowing why, and Tim feels like he suddenly understands the world a lot more.

And then he looks back at Oskar, and while the world is prettier in color, it has nothing against Oskar.

Blue might just have to stay his favorite color, Tim thinks. Because what could ever beat the brilliant blue of Oskar’s eyes shining back at him, glowing with more intensity than anything around them?

„God, we are idiots“, Oskar murmurs, and runs his thumb along Tim’s face. „You know I wanted to do this for over a year now?“

„Why didn’t you say anything? If you saw my eye color, and knew that you wanted to...“, Tim asks, still a bit dazed.

„Your eyes are grey, dumbass“, Oskar replies and has to grin.

„Oh“, Tim says sheepishly. But then Oskar kisses him again, and everything else seems unimportant.

Check out this awesome art by the lovely [ LilRoundabout!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRoundabout)

And this amazing piece by [ he11okitti!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/he11okitti/pseuds/he11okitti)


	2. (they came and went with you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... and Martin never thought that this could happen with soulmates.

The first time Martin sees Rasmus, he just thinks that he’s cute, nothing more, nothing less. He knows about Caps, of course, knows him as the guy that either hard carries or hard ints his SoloQ-games, and as the kid that tore up the Turkish scene, and he’s excited at what they’re going to be able to do on the rift.

And then he sees Rasmus for the first time when he moves into the team house, disheveled and tired from the travel, but with big, excited blue eyes and a radiant smile, and „cute“ is the only thought in his mind.

It doesn’t even take a week for Rasmus to end up in Martin’s bed, but they don’t recognize each other just then. In fact, they break it off the very next morning - well, Martin breaks it off. He tells Rasmus that he just doesn’t have the time or energy for a relationship right now, but really he’s just afraid.

Afraid to have yet another midlaner tell him that he’s sure the colors will come eventually, tell him over and over. Afraid to believe him despite knowing better, until the other leaves the team, leaves him, and the whole fantasy collapses in on itself and buries him underneath it.

Martin is not sure if he would survive it a third time, and so he tells Rasmus that he can’t be with him. Rasmus smiles and nods like he understands, and that is the end of it.

Of course, they still spend time together, as teammates, and soon as friends.Even though Rasmus frequently drives Martin up the wall with his never-ending enthusiasm and his silly ideas and really dumb jokes and lack of responsibility, and everything else... something about the way he is just the complete opposite of Martin makes it really easy to spend time with him.

Martin is more like Rasmus when he’s with him, a little more carefree, a little less worried about what people will think of him, because Rasmus surely never is. He laughs more, and says more dumb stuff that in turn makes Rasmus laugh. He starts rambling more about the stuff he’s passionate about the way Rasmus rambles about weird champion picks, and the others grin and roll their eyes at him, but somehow he doesn’t even mind. He likes this new version of himself.

With Caps and Hylissang, Fnatic quickly rise back to the top of the League in 2018, crushing everyone else effortlessly. Martin feels like he’s flying when they sweep the final, and he lifts the trophy again, and Rasmus is right there, next to him. He thinks that life couldn’t get more perfect, but then the afterparty happens.

Martin doesn’t know exactly how it happened. All he knows is that he is standing in one corner of the Riot venue with a random Danish girl, and Rasmus is on the other end with a random guy, and even though the girl is really pretty, and really nice, and her hand is on his arm, and she smiles at him so sweetly, he just has to go over to Rasmus. It’s just to check if he’s okay, he tells himself, as he gives an excuse to the girl, and makes his way through the crowd, definitely not because of this weird feeling that has been building in his chest every time he looked at Rasmus in the past weeks. It is also definitely not because he doesn’t like the look of that guy Rasmus is talking to or the fact that Rasmus is talking to a guy at all.

When Rasmus spots him pushing through the people, his face lights up like a christmas tree, and he immediately ditches his flirt to jump over to him.

„Hey, hey, Martin, I have something to tell you“, he says, throwing his arms around Martin’s neck, and beaming at him with the power of a thousand suns. His breath smells a little bit like alcohol, which surprises Martin, but then he remembers that Soaz had made it his personal mission to see Rasmus drunk one day.

„Do you now?“, Martin asks, smiling himself, because there’s nothing more contagious in the world than Rasmus being happy. He is a bit surprised by Rasmus hugging him so tightly, and his face being so close, but it’s not like he minds. Not at all.

„I love you too“, Rasmus suddenly says, and Martin freezes, searches his face for a hint of a joke, of sarcasm, of insincerity. But he only finds honest and open joy, and he tries to suppress the warm feeling that is starting to spread in his chest.

„What?“, he asks softly, because surely he would remember if he had confessed his love to Rasmus? And surely Rasmus doesn’t mean it like _that_ anyway, right?

„You said it during the final“, Rasmus grins, and Martin has to smile, because it was such a silly moment, and just something he said in the heat of the moment, because Caps had gifted him that Pentakill, and there definitely had not been any deeper meaning behind it. None at all. But then Rasmus looks at him with such burning intensity, and Martin’s smile freezes on his face. How has he never noticed how perfectly blue Rasmus‘ eyes are?

„You love me. And I love you, too“, Rasmus says, and he sounds so convinced.

„Rasmus, you’re drunk“, Martin whispers.

But when he goes to push the hair out of Rasmus‘ face, and he gives him a smile that is supposed to be flirty, but just ends up really goofy, he realizes that Rasmus is right – despite all of his efforts to avoid it, Martin has fallen in love with the boy in front of him. The thought scares him for a second, but then Rasmus leans into him, and just this once, Martin throws all of his worries and fears over board, and kisses him.

And though they have kissed before, it feels so different this time, and the warm feeling in Martin’s chest spills over, until his whole body is tingling, and he feels like he is going to start floating any second now.

When they finally open their eyes again, the world has somehow shifted. They both just stare at each other, and Martin holds his breath because suddenly there’s _color,_ and it’s so different than Martin thought, but so _beautiful,_ and Rasmus looks so cute when he’s blushing like that. Colors that Martin can’t name flash across Rasmus‘ face as the lights in the venue shift, and he could never have imagined him looking even more beautiful, but he’s ethereal like this.

„Now you have to say it too“, Rasmus says with a chuckle, and there’s nothing Martin would rather do.

„I love you.“

They take advantage of the offseason to the fullest, spending almost every waking moment together. It’s the first time Martin doesn’t go home to Sweden in the break, but it’s completely worth it.

They spend the days wandering the city, pointing out every vibrant color to each other, and talking about everything and nothing. They watch sunsets, and movies and feel like little kids again with the wonder that fills them at the simplest things. They go out to random cafes, making a bet who will be the first of them to order in German without the server immediately resorting back to English. (Neither of them ever make it.) They even go to a museum, staring at the paintings there like they’re miracles, because how could someone convey so many emotions with just colors on a canvas? The world is so vibrant now, and Martin has never felt so _alive_ , and he doesn’t know how much of it is the colors and how much it is just Rasmus.

He wonders if that is what love was supposed to make him feel like all along, so giddy and light, and like he can take on the whole world, instead of always anxious when they would finally grow tired of him, constantly worrying that there’s something he’s not doing right.

MSI almost feels like a honeymoon to Martin in a weird way, and so he doesn’t really mind that they lose to RNG. („I mean, you did get a Penta, so we basically won“, Rasmus likes to joke) It doesn’t feel real, even less so when they go right back to winning in the summer split. There is that whole thing with the ADC patch and Martin can’t play for a few weeks, but when he comes back they’re even stronger, and no one even stands a chance against them. It maybe gets to Martin’s head, and one day during a team meeting, he says:

„You know, we could win Worlds.“

And when no one laughs at him and tells him he’s obviously delusional or something, it definitely gets to Martin’s head. He can’t stop thinking about it now, and he can’t stop talking about it either. Winning Worlds has been his ultimate goal for such a large part of his life now, and for the first time it actually seems attainable, even more so after they win the split. It feels so real, and he can’t help but think how poetic it would be to find the two things he has been waiting for for so long in the same year. Bwipo starts saying it too, and though the others don’t vocalize it, Martin can see that they believe from the way they start practicing more, and making jokes about the East being unbeatable less.

The only one that doesn’t change is Rasmus, who just weighs his head, and falls into silence each time Martin brings it up. The only time he presses for an answer, Rasmus straight up tells him that they’re not as good as he thinks they are, and that he would know that if he ever listened to Rasmus during the team meetings. They get in their first fight over it, because Martin thinks Rasmus is being unfair, and Rasmus thinks Martin is being delusional, and Martin learns to stop talking about Worlds with him.

Martin doesn’t know that it can happen with soulmates, and so he doesn’t see the signs piling up. Doesn’t notice when the bootcamp rolls around, and they get so buried in practice that they basically stop spending time together, or when Rasmus stops sitting next to him during team dinners, or when he is spending a lot of their backstage and media time with a different team.

He doesn’t notice the way the colors around him slowly start to lose their shine, and blend into each other more and more. He lost his wonder for them months ago, and is it really going to hurt him if he isn’t sure if something is purple or blue anymore?

Or maybe it’s not that Martin doesn’t notice all of these things, but rather that each time he notices, he just devotes more time to trying to win, to practising and strategizing, squeezing in one more SoloQ-game, until his eyes burn because he is so tired, and he can tell himself that that is the only reason everything looks so dull and grey around him. He gives everything he has to the game, because he is determined to prove Rasmus wrong, and fix everything that way. In his mind, the upcoming Worlds Finals and his relationship to Rasmus become linked, and he is convinced that if he can win Rasmus the trophy, he can prove himself to him again.

And then they lose the final, and Rasmus can’t even look at him. Martin sits in his chair, the roaring crowd deafeningly loud even through the glass walls around them, and he just has this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He feels so cold, and his fingers are stiff, and his face his frozen, and Rasmus turns away from him.

Martin locks himself in his room as soon as they arrive back at the hotel, and takes a shower so hot that it basically melts his skin off, but he can’t get warm still.

When he wakes up the next morning, alone for the first time in months, the colors are gone. He blinks up at a grey ceiling, and when he looks out of the window, it is at a grey city underneath him. He looks at himself in the mirror, and the green of his eyes, that he had just grown to like, is gone, and only the dark circles underneath remain.

He stares at the Fnatic logo that pops up on his phone screen as Joey text their group chat that they have to leave for the airport soon, and wonders how the memory of orange can already seem so faint to him.

Rasmus manages to not exchange a single word with him on their whole journey home by hiding behind Broxah, or listening to music, or pretending to sleep. Martin knows that he’s pretending, because Rasmus kicks in his sleep, and now he doesn’t, but he tries not to think about that too much. It’s not like Martin is even trying to talk to Rasmus, because what is there left to talk about for them? How Rasmus was right all along, and Martin ruins everything the way he always does? They both know that already. Maybe they could talk about which team Rasmus will join now, but Martin feels like he already know that that, too.

In the end, he does survive. Though it is so much worse than anything he had imagined when rejecting Caps initially, he survives. For a while, he can’t help but wonder what good that does him, as he watches Caps thrive with his new teammates, watches him rise to new heights, while he feels like he sits lower than ever before. And when he hears rumors of all of G2 being soulmates, of them recognizing each other at their own private afterparty after lifting the Spring trophy, it doesn’t even surprise him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (also, check out the amazing art for chapter one if you haven't seen it yet!)


End file.
